Friday, August 22, 2008

Raising North Dakota

Tonight's post is written for me. It'll be long and boring (even though I'm making an attempt to be funny.) I just need to get back into the mode of writing and I'm sitting here alone and bored on a Friday night. You can definitely read it if you like but you don't have to.

I've had this personal goal in my head for quite some time. September 30th. 10,000 hits. Tonight after logging into my handy dandy Google Analytics account I found that this is going to be easily attainable. Like, 30 hits per day attainable.

So, I've decided to up the ante. On September 1st, 2008 I will turn 29 years old. And considering that the wife will more than likely NOT be buying me a hobby box of any sort, let alone a blaster, and probably not a single pack of anything after my recent spending spree, I think that this would be about the best birthday gift that I can get.

A few weeks ago I decided to make this my personal goal. While trying to figure out what the heck I'm even looking at in Analytics I found that I can view visits from individual states and countries. While some of the findings were a surprise, most are explainable.

I read Wax Heaven and Fielder's Choice and The Baseball Card Blog and kick myself that I'm not as good at the "journalism" or editorial style approach. I read SCU and, now, Voice of the Collector, and realize that I'll never be that good of a "whistleblower". I read Dinged Corners and For the Love of Baseball and think, "Does this dress make me look fat?" (sorry, that was sexist...didn't mean it like it sounded...lol.)

Please don't take offense if you feel that I'm branding someone as something that they don't consider themselves to be. I'm not meaning any of this as an insult in the slightest. Everyone has their own writing style and I appreciate all of them. To some in the outside world, a site like 1988 Topps might seem boring yet I read it religiously. Everyone brings a diversity to the table that makes it all so interesting.

But, the point is that those mentioned along with many, many other unnamed blogs do a better job at writing in the style that I covet most days of the week. I can't help but be anything more than I am. A storyteller. I get it from my dad and if you spend 30 minutes with my 4 year old and you'll find that I've given it to him as well.

All of that being said, I decided that based on my style of writing, and considering some of the work I've done so far, that I should attempt to branch out and try to bring people to my site that might not come looking for a baseball card blog otherwise.

I spent nearly two weeks straight uploading posts as news stories at Digg, Dropjack, Folkd, Propellor, Reddit, Searchles, Squidoo, StumbleUpon, Technorati, Wirefan and Furl just to name a few. While this more than likely brought "dead" hits to the blog, I like to think that some of the people who've found me continue to come back and click around to you guys as well.

Considering how spread out my Analytics Map is, I can see that the effort wasn't wasted. Topps and Upper Deck are teaching me that gimmicks are a great selling tool to drive your business (did anyone notice the tongue in my cheek when I said that? 'K, just checking...) By putting out a product covered in worthless references to celebrities, states, historical monuments, presidents and now even planets, you can get everyone to love you. That being said...



The first group I call, "The One Hit Wanderers".

Are you serious!? South Dakota? I gotta visitor from SD? Does anyone even live there anymore? I was seriously thrown off by this one.

Alaska? Ok. I'll buy that. Wizzle Virgizzle? Yeah, that one too. Random hits, I'll take 'em. But...

I can throw a rock right now from my porch and hit your state. You're right there! Get it together, Arkansas. The South needs to represent TNB a little better than that. You guys can do it! You're making Alabama work harder and I don't like it.

The next group has no name yet because I can't think of anything clever...


3 visits, Vermont? For years, I've scrambled to get all three of your powder blue, low rent, properties in Monopoly. Get your visits up or I'll be forced to go back to St. Charles Place. Not to mention, Vermont, that I have the entire state of Rhode Island visiting! All 6 folks!

Connecticut, I need you to go talk to Vermont for me, they're sucking wind pretty bad.


Just to clarify, this is 8 people from the state of Kansas, not 8 people from the band Kansas as they only had 5 people. Unless if you count their 3 groupies...



What is it with you, New England? Where's the love? Sheeesh...

Hey, 'Bama...Arkansas has only been here once. Are you gonna take that? Oh, AND, they were talking smack about your mom.


Can you be a "fan" of a state? I don't know why, but that New Mexico, 19, deal makes me happy. I don't know anyone there but now 19 people know me. I digress... Now we're finally getting to some good numbers...all jumbled together...


















Did you get all of that? Great! Moving on...

The next group rounds out the rest of the states. The High Rollers. The Big Spenders. The "Holy Crap, I should be sending free stuff to these people in these states for keeping me afloat" group...

Two words. Alejandro Family. Thanks, Mario...

Start Spreading The News...I'm leavi...sorry...

Cleveland Rocks!! Cleveland Rocks!! Ohiohiohiohiohio....

Really? No, come on! Seriously? Penn? Hmmm..interesting...wonder what that's all about...

California Love...

And the winner is....


Little ol'

"M I crooked letter crooked letter I crooked letter crooked letter I humpback humpback I"

I would like to thank all...wait, this just in, we have a recount...


I'm officially a Tar Heels Fan! Raleigh Rocks!! Raleigh Rocks!!

Yet, something's not right. We're missing someone. Let's go back and see...

Wait, here's one more...

Anyone recognize this one? Yeah, the people who liver there wouldn't either. No visitors from Wyoming? I've been there and I saw maybe 15 people the entire time so Wyoming gets a bye...for now...

But, there's still one more, isn't there?

North Dakota, you have no excuse...

You can't use that, "We're just really South Canadians!" routine on me. I know better. South Dakota's here. Montana and Minnesota, too. Still wanna use the Canadia bit on me? Here ya go...















Not enough? What about these guys, North Dakota?


That's right! The friggin' capital of Iceland has come by three times! You have no excuse. Everybody's here. Well, almost everybody. I'm still waiting on these guys...


And I didn't even mention Europe, Asia, Australia, South America, and those other continents I can't remember.

But, all this has got me thinking. (It's funny, I'm still typing this like anyone is still reading it...lol.) What am I doing wrong with TNB that I can't break the North Dakota market? What should/could I do different to fix this issue? Any ideas? Well, ideas besides, "don't type long bullshit posts about your hits with a million little pictures of states thrown in."

Like I said, this post was for me. I just wanted to sit down and ramble for awhile.

8 comments:

fielderschoice said...

That's awesome. I'll have to try Google Analytics. And you know where all your hits from NC are coming from, right? I guess it shows how often I read your blog :)

White Sox Cards said...

I always find it interesting to see where people are coming from when they get to a site. At least one other person found this post fascinating.

Wax Heaven said...

Wow, I can't even imagine how long it took to get this post up.

2 hours?

jv said...

Mario, it was probably closer to five hours. I don't know why it's been so hard for me to write since I've come back from my break. I've been struggling to get my thoughts out more than I'm used to.

I just wanted to spend some time writing something that didn't matter as practice.

If I were campaigning for something I would have to definitely give you a cabinet position for winning me Florida...hahaha...

Wait, that might be a fun post...If I were running for office, and I had to pick fellow card bloggers for my cabinet position, who would get what? I think I'm done with the gimmick posts though. If someone else wants to run with that one, be my guest...

Voice of the Collector would definitely get Speaker of the House, Gellman SecDef, etc...lol...

Ben said...

I guess I'm pushing up your NC totals too.

jv said...

Yeah, you're right, Ben...I'll have to run some numbers to see if you or Dave should be VP...lol

Motherscratcher said...

I could be the court jester type of dude, whatever position that would be. Maybe Scooter Libby's position. I don't really know what he did, or if he was funny. I just know his name is Scooter.

And, don't jump to the conclusion that I think I'm funny. I don't. But in this day and age that doesn't seem to be a requirement to brand yourself some sort of comedian. If there is a minimum requirement then why does Jimmy Pardo keep showing up on my TV when I'm trying to watch some stupid list that VH1 came up with?

I guess what I'm saying is that I could be your administration's Jimmy Pardo, or even Paula Poundstone. Neither of them is funny. I'd fit right in there.

Basically I'm just looking to contribute. You know, to do my part. Otherwise, the terrorists win.

jv said...

MS, if you really came up with that last comment on your own...if you didn't find it somewhere else and rework it for you own hidden agenda...if it's all 100% original (hell, even 50% original)...

Then, yes, I officially dub thee as funny... I haven't laughed out loud at a comment in a while...

Paula Poundstone? Wow! I'm impressed. You dug down deep into a part of you that I'm sure is repressing some stuff. That was so obscure I might not have ever considered referencing it. Tip of the hat, dear sir...tip of the hat...kudos...

Speaking of good ol' PStone, do you remember the 1 hour weekly stand up show she had that lasted like two episodes?

I don't care who you are or how funny you are, there is no comedian that can come up with enough material to fill an hour a week without it being set in situational comedy...that venture was doomed from the start...