Friday, July 11, 2008

Dork

Baseball Cards are for children, dorks, and especially dorky children. That's the general consensus anywhere that you go outside of the Collecting World. To the average Joe, when we're not sitting around watching a bootleg copy of Starship Troopers' with Chinese subtitles or flying around on our Purple Skeletal Warhorse in World of Warcraft, we're ogling pictures of grown men in tight pants from the comfort of our basement at mom's house. So, to say that being excited over opening packs of baseball cards is dorky is an understatement. At least to those not hanging out with us at our mom's when we do it.


(DISCLAIMER: I have never seen Starship Troopers, I don't live at my mom's, and I had to Google World of Warcraft terms to come up with whatever a Purple Skeletal Warhorse is. But, to the outside world, I'm as much a dork as you can get because of my obsession with the hobby.)


Now, that being the case, it's not enough for us "dorks" to open our own packs. With the latest in technology we are now able to take it a step further. We can watch OTHER people do it too on the internet!! Got 10 minutes to spare? Pop over to the YouTube and sit back, chocolate milk in hand, and watch people open packs of Baseball Cards. How did we ever make it before this was possible?

What I'm about to tell you opens me (and Dave of Fielder's Choice) to what could be a torrential downpour of dorkiness. We might possibly be branded forever and you might drop us from your list of blogs. We might have crossed a line and delved into dorkery so far that even YOU don't want to associate with us anymore.

Tonight, Dave opened a hobby box of 2008 Topps Chrome. Dave then relayed to me, via the miracle that is GoogleTalk, the cards that he was pulling from the packs...

Dave and I conducted, what I feel safe to say is, the FIRST EVER INSTANT MESSAGING BOX BREAK!. If you don't want to be our friend anymore, we understand.

I would say that I edited out the boring parts but, then again, I'm pasting the conversation from a CHAT WINDOW! It began like this...

Fielder: hey blogger man

me: sup, dude...

me: wow I sounded like an 18 year old surfer punk...lol...sorry...Hey, Dave...

Fielder: it's cool, don't worry about it ... your new blog's looking good


Innocent of so far, right...keep reading...

Fielder: ... speaking of that my topps chrome hobby boxes came today

me: oh yeah?! How'd you do on it?

Fielder's: haven't opened them yet, i was busy blogging :) i think i'll start opening one of the boxes now, i'll tell you what i get


This is where I made the fatal mistake.... I shouldn't have asked...


Fielder: sweet ... evan longoria in the first pack! and an ichiro card with japanese writing on it

me: Trading Card History? probably so...all of the Japanese guys Topps are putting on vintage japanese card styles... Are you going to build a base set?

Fielder: probably

me: I would like to build a copper set...

Fielder: copper refractor of russ martin ... you want it?

me:

y

e

s

Now I'm officially sucked in... Dave is either a kind soul with a giving spirit or he's wanting to do some trading. Either way, I'm invested in this now and it's too late to turn back...


Fielder: i don't get why topps puts more inserts into the retail packs. we need to write blogs warning people to only buy chrome retail packs

me: Seriously! I've NEVER thought the ratio was better with Blasters...I've always used them to finish off base sets...Until now...

Fielder: that's usually how it is. I just got a pack w/ 2 refractors in it, that's a step in the right direction

Fielder: ryan howard TC history in '82 topps design ... is cool... just got my first auto ... brian barton .. yay it's a refractor #/500, but he sucks


At this point, I'm closing my eyes every few seconds and living vicariously through the text popping up ever so often. What a dork...


Fielder: these are some awesome cards, i'm glad you convinced me to buy them

me: I can't remember the last set I was this excited over...the chrome really works with the 08 design this year...i hated last years chrome. i think the white border cards do better...I've got a lot of '06 stuff and it's nice...

Fielder: oh for god sakes .. got my second auto ... rich freakin' thompson

me: trade you an ohlendorf auto for it...hahaha

Fielder: yeah i'd probably make that trade

wait a minute ... holy crap ... i got a third auto in this box! and it's a decent one - chin-lung hu That makes me happy ... more auto's than i should have gotten

me: dude if you don't open the second box I'm going to cyber choke you...


Addiction. Images of Tyrone Biggums pop into my head. I'm jonesing for the next hit... And I didn't have to wait long...


Fielder: i just got one of the awesomest copper refractors!

griffey

junior


I stand up and ALMOST go to wake my wife to have her NOT watch, NOT help with, rather “read” this box break. I change my mind I sit back down and it all comes rushing to me...


me: Man, we're dorks! I'm getting excited at a grown man opening baseball cards and relaying it to me through a chat window...

Fielder: it's fun though, better than telling my wife what i pull, she doesn't care

me: yeah, no kidding. I'll probably go wake mine up in a minute and tell her what you're getting...I'm sure she'll care even less than yours...


Mrs. Choice, Mrs. Buried...don't get offended. We know you gals love US and not the cards... Just keep acting excited. That helps us more than you know...


Fielder: i felt pretty dorky the first time i watched a video box break on youtube

me: HAHAHAHAHA me too! I put headphones and dimmed the screen...I think my wife thought I was surfing porn...

Fielder: you're gonna wake her up .... she'll probably hit you


Yeah. She would have. In the face. With Divorce Papers.


Fielder: last pack ... got a manny ramirez 50th anniv all rookie team refractor ... it's yours if you want it

me: i don't think I pulled the manny refractor...i think i got the base chrome insert...I think I'm fixing to do a quick post about the dork thing...

Fielder: sweet ... are you mentioning me in it?

me: oh heck yeah...you're as guilty as me...I'm not the only dork here...you were typing...I was reading...unless if you don't want me to...

Fielder: oh no, i do

me: haha...great...i was going to anyway....I think I'll title it...

And now back to the present. Please tell me that Dave and I aren't really the first to have done this. Seriously, anyone? Otherwise, I feel obligated to go out and buy a copy of Burning Crusades and starting WOWing it up.

Dave, you in?

7 comments:

Gellman said...

OGRE HATES NERDS.

Travis said...

Classic post. Makes me feel 32.4 percent less dorky.

You can see my dorky hobby (making "baseball cards" of my musician friends) at http://www.myspace.com/punkrockpaint if you have a myspace account you can see them all in my pics.

Speaking of dorky... I am 34. Should I even HAVE a myspace account? Or plug it on your blog???

Travis

thehamiltonian said...

Never done a live break over IM. I've 'watched' a few in message board chats though. Definitely dorky, but it seems better when there are more people around.

I have drank over IM, just to avoid checking off that soul crushing 'Do you drink alone?' item on the AA checklists though. To be fair - I haven't done that since I was a university student, and I don't think those years count.

geomon said...

Yeah that's pretty damn dorky. As an uber dork now, you owe it to yourself to watch Starship Troopers.

Dave said...

Good recap of my IM box break! Though I should mention to your readers that the scans in this post are not the actual cards that I pulled. I'm guessing you found them somewhere else?

jv said...

Dave,

Send me some scans and I'll change the photos...

I did the best I could on eBay...

blogbeckett said...

Sweet...I thought I was almost alone the super dork category...glad to know there are others.

I love that Ichiro, pulled one myself the other day.

I have a Kelly Johnson (283/599) for you if you want it...tell me where to send it.

beckettblog@gmail.com